American drama

AN OLD FASHIONED GUY

(A short play for one male and one female actors and one voice-off)

(A street with shopping stores. On the grown-floor a sign says "BOOKSTORE". In the centre of the set there's SHE. Stopped as if waiting for someone. Behind her is HE, walking back and forth... seems to be very nervous.)

HE (Addressing to SHE) - Excuse me miss... good afternoon.

SHE (Rude) - I'm not interested.

HE - If you could spare me a minute...

SHE (Without looking at HE) - don't push! I've enough of public collections!

HE (With a shy smile) - I see... there are so many people collecting for so many different things.

SHE (Rude) - Exactly! Goodbye! (Turns her back to him)

HE - Wait! Just a small favour... here, in the bookstore. (Pointing at the bookstore)

SHE (Looking at the bookstore) - Bookstore?! What's wrong with it?

HE (Awkward) - Nothing's wrong. I just need a little favour... and I'm here appealing to your kindness, sure I'm bothering you, but there is a problem... a natural obstacle, which could be overcome, surpassed, in if in case you'd be willing to help me.

SHE - Do you work at the bookstore?

HE - I'm a costumer.

SHE - don't tell me you've forgotten your credit card and you want to lend you some money!

HE - I have the money! I have the money!

SHE - So... what have I got to do with this bookstore? (Looks inside through the shop window) I've never entered here.

HE - A book.

SHE (Surprised, at HE) - A book?!

HE - Yes. A small book. Here's the title... (Shows a folded paper)

SHE - I don't understand.

HE - Here's the title of the book and... (takes out some coin from his pocket and rubs them in) and there is the right amount money for it! The title... (shows the paper) and the right money. (The coins hop in his hand) So... are you on?!

SHE - Wait a minute... you want me to go to the bookstore and buy you a book?

HE (Nodding) - Exactly! Would you be so kind as to do it?

SHE - Why don't you do it yourself?

HE (Lowering his head) - Details don't allow me to...

SHE - I got it! It's a porn book!

HE (Offended) - Nothing of the kind! I'd never ask a lady such a thing!

SHE - I think... maybe you have debts in there.

HE (Hopping the coins) - I have the money!

SHE - What a strange request.

HE (Anxious) - So?!... A small favour... you deliver the paper, deliver the money, and then take the book out there! Two minutes! Please!

SHE (Grabs the paper out of the hands of HE) - What's the book's title?

HE (extremely awkward) - It doesn't matter to you. You just have to deliver the paper and the money, and they'll wrap the book...

(SHE unfolds the paper)

No, don't read it! Please, I beg you! Be sorry on me!!

SHE (Reading the paper, now unfolded. Opening wide her eyes) - "HOW TO OVERCOME SHYNESS"?!!! (SHE laughs) "HOW TO OVERCOME SHYNESS"?!!! (SHE laughs again)

(The set becomes dark)

OFF-VOICE - With the help of the book - or maybe not - they married and were shyly happy.

© Teixeira Moita - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Note:Please don't use,reproduce or stage this work without the author's permission!